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Recently I attended a great one-day conference on the U.C.C. campus. Held annually, it is called “The Conference On Extraordinary Living.” This was its 27th year. Dozens of classes on a myriad of topics, primarily of interest to those of us who have been around for quite awhile on this earth. The enrollment fee was low enough to be affordable to those of us on pensions, and included a wonderful buffet lunch. Exhibitors and sponsors were mostly enterprises offering goods and services for people my age.
Until a couple of years ago the conference was called “The Conference on Aging.” Why the name change? I was not privy to the discussions that led to the new name, but I got some hints that some of the folks who set up the conference each year felt that “aging” wasn't a good word to use. It had a negative connotation. So say it some other way.
In other words, use other words. Use a euphemism.
A euphemism is a cowardly way of disguising something you feel is unpleasant or taboo by using weasel words. It is a common social and linguistic custom.
As for the conference name, it seems to me that the name change completely disguised the entire purpose of the conference. What the hell (oops! — I'll use a euphemism) — what the heck is a conference on “extraordinary living”? It sounds like it's about how to live like the rich and famous, the adventurers, the people who live out-of-the-ordinary lives.
Actually, it is maybe appropriate for us old people: It is extraordinary at our age that we are still living.
Ironically, we use euphemisms to avoid saying things that are either too nasty or too holy. The Biblical prohibition against taking the name of God “in vain” is interpreted by believers to mean that it is a sin to say “God damn” or “Oh, my God!” (when you are startled or angry, not when you are praying). Some even go further and avoid using the very word “God” itself. Pious Jews, when reading the Hebrew scriptures substitute “the Lord” (Hebrew “adonai") or “the Name” (Hebrew “ha shem") for the actual name of God, and even when writing English they avoid writing the whole word “God,” using “G-d” instead.
It is also wrong to “swear” by heaven or hell, say some Bible passages. So we use euphemisms such as “heck” or “h-e-double-toothpicks.” We all know what “gosh” or “gee whiz” or “darn” or “dangit!” represent. Do we really think that it is going to get us off at the Last Judgment by pleading, “Gee whiz, Lord, I didn't actually SAY it — I was just thinking it in my mind”?
And the irony is that even my most pious Aunt Dorothy does not hesitate to say “Heavens to Betsy!” or “Good heavens!,” not realizing that she is swearing by heaven, which is forbidden (Matthew 5:34).
How many devout people with pure mouths realize that when they say something so innocent-sounding as “Oh, dear me!” they are simply speaking the slightly corrupted Italian phrase “O dio mio!” which means, of course, “Oh, my God!”?
It's the same with the nasty words, the so-called four-letter words. Polite people don't use them. But using euphemisms, we can say exactly the same things, even in mixed, polite company. “Manure” and “urine” and “sexual intercourse” are acceptable words when those things need discussing. But you can't use their four-letter equivalents (which, remember, mean exactly the same thing) without raising some eyebrows. Is “scared spitless” really about losing saliva?
Getting old and dying are, for some people, taboo and unpleasant topics. Isn't it healthier to face up to the inevitable reality? I'm old, and I am going to die. I am not “a senior citizen” who will some day “pass on.”
I am looking forward to next year's “Old Folks Conference.” See you there, all you wonderful old codgers!
Richard Packham is a retired college professor and attorney who moved with his wife and son in 1990 from San Francisco to the Dixonville area, where they raise cattle and timber.
Until a couple of years ago the conference was called “The Conference on Aging.” Why the name change? I was not privy to the discussions that led to the new name, but I got some hints that some of the folks who set up the conference each year felt that “aging” wasn't a good word to use. It had a negative connotation. So say it some other way.
In other words, use other words. Use a euphemism.
A euphemism is a cowardly way of disguising something you feel is unpleasant or taboo by using weasel words. It is a common social and linguistic custom.
As for the conference name, it seems to me that the name change completely disguised the entire purpose of the conference. What the hell (oops! — I'll use a euphemism) — what the heck is a conference on “extraordinary living”? It sounds like it's about how to live like the rich and famous, the adventurers, the people who live out-of-the-ordinary lives.
Actually, it is maybe appropriate for us old people: It is extraordinary at our age that we are still living.
Ironically, we use euphemisms to avoid saying things that are either too nasty or too holy. The Biblical prohibition against taking the name of God “in vain” is interpreted by believers to mean that it is a sin to say “God damn” or “Oh, my God!” (when you are startled or angry, not when you are praying). Some even go further and avoid using the very word “God” itself. Pious Jews, when reading the Hebrew scriptures substitute “the Lord” (Hebrew “adonai") or “the Name” (Hebrew “ha shem") for the actual name of God, and even when writing English they avoid writing the whole word “God,” using “G-d” instead.
It is also wrong to “swear” by heaven or hell, say some Bible passages. So we use euphemisms such as “heck” or “h-e-double-toothpicks.” We all know what “gosh” or “gee whiz” or “darn” or “dangit!” represent. Do we really think that it is going to get us off at the Last Judgment by pleading, “Gee whiz, Lord, I didn't actually SAY it — I was just thinking it in my mind”?
And the irony is that even my most pious Aunt Dorothy does not hesitate to say “Heavens to Betsy!” or “Good heavens!,” not realizing that she is swearing by heaven, which is forbidden (Matthew 5:34).
How many devout people with pure mouths realize that when they say something so innocent-sounding as “Oh, dear me!” they are simply speaking the slightly corrupted Italian phrase “O dio mio!” which means, of course, “Oh, my God!”?
It's the same with the nasty words, the so-called four-letter words. Polite people don't use them. But using euphemisms, we can say exactly the same things, even in mixed, polite company. “Manure” and “urine” and “sexual intercourse” are acceptable words when those things need discussing. But you can't use their four-letter equivalents (which, remember, mean exactly the same thing) without raising some eyebrows. Is “scared spitless” really about losing saliva?
Getting old and dying are, for some people, taboo and unpleasant topics. Isn't it healthier to face up to the inevitable reality? I'm old, and I am going to die. I am not “a senior citizen” who will some day “pass on.”
I am looking forward to next year's “Old Folks Conference.” See you there, all you wonderful old codgers!
Richard Packham is a retired college professor and attorney who moved with his wife and son in 1990 from San Francisco to the Dixonville area, where they raise cattle and timber.
