I have memories being a little girl, laying in bed at night and thinking of names for my future children.
The thought of being a mom always got me pretty excited. It seems like that desire started pretty young.
I remember having my own ideas of what it would be like to be a mom.
My ideas back then were pretty romantic and dreamy.
As a mom now to three boys ages 10, 8 and 20-months-old, I have to say that motherhood has been a little different than I imagined as a little girl.
My romantic ideas of motherhood were filled with holding cute and snuggly babies and running around a play park having fun with my children.
I am not sure if I even considered the fact that as a mom I would have to deal with toddler meltdowns and little boys who do not want to do their homework or cleaning up vomit from sick children in the middle of the night.
I did not understand the in’s and out’s of everyday life as a mom.
There are days where I am quite honestly disillusioned as a mom.
Days when the training and correcting is never ending and the noise and chaos are just overwhelming.
It is easy for those feelings of discouragement and weariness to cloud our judgement on how we are doing as a mommy.
The other day I was chatting with a lady when she unexpectedly told me, “Your boys are so sweet.”
I could feel the tears start to well up and sting at my eyes.
I was really humbled because “sweetness” was not how I felt about them that day.
All I could think of on that particular day was how hard it was raising these boys and how different my dreams of motherhood were now compared to 11 years ago when I was pregnant with my first child.
As Mother’s Day approaches, I find I start to reflect a little more on my motherhood journey so far.
Maybe like me, has being a mom been a little different than you expected?
I know sometimes for me there is a tendency to focus on the hard and unexpected difficult things.
Those are the things that can often leave me feeling disappointed, resentful, confused and even dazed by motherhood.
They can often leave our hearts aching and broken, but also they can be the very thing that makes us into the mothers we need to be for our children.
If we stop and think about it, there is so much good that can come from the unexpected things too.
For me, the unexpected is what has brought new friendships, unknown strength and a deeper relationship with God.
I also know that the difficult things are what have given me an even deeper love for my children and have actually kept me persevering and pressing on.
So on Mother’s Day I am pretty sure my day will be the same as any other day in regards to dealing with life as a mom.
But this Mother’s Day and every day I also hope I can stop and embrace the blessing in my unexpected journey and be overwhelmed with the beauty and joy of my children even in the chaos.
Happy upcoming Mother’s Day.
has being a mom been a little different than you expected?