Jenn Silvas |

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August 11, 2014
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Adultery and American marriages | Moms

Last Sunday I went to church and like many times before I walked away feeling like there was a reason I was there.

There certainly was a reason that I chose to not go shopping instead, or even to go to urgent care like I wanted to for my annoyingly persistent cough.

Instead I chose to go to church and now I know why, because it was all in His plan for me to be there.

His plan for me, that I could glean some knowledge and then share it, so maybe it will have an impact on someone needing to hear it.

Today I listened to a topic on sin. I am a sinner just like every other human being on earth, but one thing in particular stuck out to me: the sin of adultery – one that has devastating effects on everyone involved and happens within so many families today.

Between 50-70 percent of all American marriages end in divorce and just within the last decade the incidents of adultery in marriages have risen to that same percentage.

• 10-25% of affairs begin as an internet relationship, many times beginning with Facebook or chat rooms.

• 10-20% of adulterers and the victims claim to be Christians and attend services in their community on a regular basis.

• 30-50% of affairs begin in a situation involving alcohol or a physical act happens under the influence of alcohol.

• 50% of the adulteress affairs take place at night time or somewhere that is dark.

• 10-25% of spouses that are committing adultery will cause severe financial ruin for their home shared with their spouse.

• 100% of all affairs have an impact on the children in the home.

Let’s repeat that: 100 percent of all affairs have an impact on the children in the home.

All of these statistics hurt me to the core because it happens all around us every single day.

It happens to our family, our friends, and our neighbors, and most of the time it is kept secret and hidden until it all erupts like a raging volcano.

God intended for a man and a woman to be together as husband and wife, and for that union to never be broken.

I believe He created it to be this way because He knew already, even before the first act of adultery, how much damage can come from it.

In the life we live today it is made incredibly easy to be drawn into a world of sin, and sin that leads to things like adultery.

There are magazines and movies with lewd and destructive images and words.

The technology that is at our fingertips through our phones or our computer can lead us to destruction things.

I have been on Facebook since it began, and I guess I somewhat forced my husband into creating an account as well.

But over the years I have learned through his honesty why he prefers not to use Facebook. There are ads that you cannot control everywhere – ads with women dressed in skimpy clothing or in a provocative stance and messages that entice you to “click here” to see more.

For some people these are easy to overlook. But for others it is the tiny amount of bait that will send them on a rollercoaster of hurt and pain.

One simple ad can be seen and lead to looking up much more detailed things such as pornography, this than can lead to the want for more and to talking with a person, one thing leads to another and before you know it you have committed adultery and your life is a pile of ruin.

I know that seems drastic, but please do not be fooled because this happens and it happens a lot.

Most cases of adultery do not start out with a person actually making a clear and concise decision to cheat on their spouse, and many of them end in regret, wishing they could take the act back.

Guard yourself against the attack of what can hurt you and your marriage.

If you know that you have a weak point then stay away from it.

Take the necessary steps to keep your marriage healthy and focus on that each and every day.

If you happen to be a situation that is on the opposite end, when the act of adultery has already happened, know there is still hope for your marriage.

• 70-80% choose to confess what they have done on their own free will, these people can go through a recovery process and can strengthen and grow in their marriage again over time.

• 10-15% of marriages survive affairs after the help of counseling and when the act of forgiveness can happen.

When a married person engages in an affair it is a guarantee that they are violating the trust that they once had with their spouse, but it is possible with determination and dedication to repair the marriage.

Being honest is always the best route no matter what you are dealing with in life and in a situation like this honesty can be what saves your marriage.

Continue to guard yourself and be willing to take the steps necessary to do so.

Marriage is a union that two people step into created in the image of God. It is not meant to be torn or damaged, but with God anything is possible and can be restored to its original state.

Read some great insights here at Focus on the Family

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100 percent of all affairs have an impact on the children in the home.

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The News-Review Updated Oct 20, 2014 10:12AM Published Aug 27, 2014 06:50AM Copyright 2014 The News-Review. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.