Jayne Gautreau

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January 7, 2014
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Jayne Gautreau: Fall in love with your spouse, again | Moms

Recently my husband and I celebrated 13 years of saying “I do.” We were married on a beautiful snowy day in Northern Ireland.

I had asked my husband if he had thought about what we might do to celebrate our anniversary. He had mentioned that we might go away for a couple of days.

We don’t get the opportunity to go away very much just on our own, therefore you can imagine the thought of time away with just my husband sounded wonderful.

We made plans for grandma to stay with our three boys and we booked our time away at one of our favorite spots on the Oregon Coast.

I had been so excited about going away and dreamt of a quiet, relaxing time with just my husband; however, leaving the boys behind for a few days did make me a little anxious.

I wrote about three lists (the pages were small) for grandma so she knew where to find everything and gave her a list of emergency phone numbers.

It took a while for me to get out of mommy mode. Not too long after our arrival in Cannon Beach I felt myself start to breath, relax and enjoy time away.

On our trip, I realized how important it is for us to make special time away with our spouses. I understand how hard it can be to arrange a trip especially if you don’t live close to family.

After being married for 13 years, I became aware while on our trip how easy it is for us all to slip into function mode in our marriages.

Children, jobs and everyday life can all contribute to draining our marriages. After a while we just go through the motions of being married.

Time away for us without interruptions allowed for deeper conversation, relaxed and quiet dinner times – a real treat and time to reconnect.

We laughed and giggled like teenagers. While away, I started to remember what it was like when we first met.

I was reminded again of what it was that I appreciated, enjoyed and loved about my husband.

Time away helped to refresh and restore joy in the commitment and vows we made to each other 13 years ago.

As moms, we can often feel guilty about time away from our children. The thing is, if I am not making my marriage a priority and not taking time away with my husband, it can lead to burnout and problems in our families.

I know for some that the luxury of time away may not be a possibility. If you can arrange a night out every now and then, even if it is just to get an ice cream at McDonalds – you will enjoy and benefit from it so much.

There are lots of trusted teenagers who are happy to make a little extra cash and are willing to watch your kids so you can get away for an hour or two.

Another idea that a friend told me is when they moved to a new area and they didn’t have family to help with date nights, they started to swap childcare with another couple so they could go out on dates every so often.

I missed all of my boys while I was away, but I came home feeling like I had done something very important for my boys and our marriage and that was fall in love with their daddy again.

Children, jobs and everyday life can all contribute to draining our marriages.

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The News-Review Updated Jan 14, 2014 07:38AM Published Jan 16, 2014 03:46PM Copyright 2014 The News-Review. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.