My husband has said before that he doesn't think he could last an hour, let alone a day inside my head.
I'm sometimes afraid to tell him how much more I'm not saying.
I am an insecure person – most of the time.
And I don't think I could really pick just one thing to be most insecure about.
But really, there are so many things I could say.
I don't like the way I look. I am constantly afraid something is hanging out of my nose or that I'm showing something I don't want shown.
I am scared to stand in front of a room full of adults and talk.
I have a fear when I see people whispering or laughing around me that they are talking about or laughing at me.
I'm sure some who know me would disagree, but I bluster through a lot of things.
It may look like I'm comfortable, however that's not always the case.
Call me neurotic, irrational, obsessed. I've called myself those things, and more.
A politically correct term might be self-conscious. That sounds a lot nicer than the others, I think.
But the problem is that if I am self-conscious, then my mind is not set as it should be.
"If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:2-3
As I grow up, I begin to see how little value needs to be placed on the things that are causing me insecurity.
I am convicted then to set my mind on things above, as I promised to do when I gave my life to the Lord.
How can I serve Him wholeheartedly when I am still living with my insecurities?
That part of me has died, if I'll claim it, and I can be hidden in Christ! Which honestly sounds really good to someone who isn't secure alone in the spotlight.
So, I’m choosing to quit being self-conscious. There are things I am still destined to do!
if I am self-conscious, then my mind is not set as it should be.