Robbin Carollo | moms@nrtoday.com

My experience with "me time" | Moms

I feel like the topic of “me time” can be pretty divisive in mom blogs.

Either you read about how it is completely selfish to leave your kids for a weekend away or you’re heralded as some antiquated gender-role loving weirdo because you’ve never left you kid’s side since the minute he was born.

To be honest, for a long tome I fell into the former group. I think maybe most moms do this with their first kid.

With your first, the new hasn’t worn off and you’re still trying to do everything by the book therefore leaving them alone in their crib to scream it out so you can go to the bathroom feels like complete abandonment—I mean, forget an entire weekend away!

The first time I left our oldest alone over night was when I went to the hospital to give birth to her sister. Big Girl came to the hospital at eight that night to meet her sister and was back by eight the next morning and still I called and texted a few times to make sure she was OK without me.

Looking back, I’m not sure what I thought my 15-month-old was going to get into for those 12 hours?

Was she going to forget how to sleep or pull an all-nighter worrying about why I didn’t make curfew?

All this while I was in the hospital with a newborn for Pete’s sake! Can we say priorities here?

And then the first time Dom and I left both girls overnight for a weekend away was for our anniversary this past August, right before Little Girl’s first birthday.

Even then I called my parents (who were babysitting for us) probably four times a day.

My own mother started screening my calls.

So you might say that in the past I’ve had some trouble letting go of my children, or at least had trouble relinquishing control over their well-being for longer than an hour or two.

But, when I went back to Georgia recently for my childhood best friend’s wedding, I had a lot I wanted and needed to get done.

It took me about three seconds to kiddie dump those rugrats all over unsuspecting family members and friends.

I knew my mother could handle them so I allowed myself to do whatever I wanted, when I wanted.

I didn’t have to carry anyone or shop for anyone, or give them their food or a bath…nothing.

And for a woman who has to plan grocery runs like I’m going into battle, that was a big deal.

I had lunch dates with college friends, I went to the tanning bed, got my hair done, and went shopping (for myself!).

And that’s when it hit me—I was having 100% “me time.”

So since I got back, I’ve really been kicking around this idea of “me time.”

I used to think any minute alone was me time. Like when I’d go to the gym or if I could get Dom to watch the kids so I could run errands by myself. Or, you know, shower.

But while it’s nice to have alone time, that isn’t necessarily the same as me time.

And the longer I’m a parent the more I realize the importance of me time.

When I walked out of that hair salon in Georgia, I felt like a new woman. I had a new hairdo, I was tan(ish), and I had some new, non-maternity clothes.

I felt great so when I got back around my kids, that good mood transferred on to them.

So while I’m not going to advocate ditching your two month old and jet-setting off to Paris for two weeks (I’m looking at you, Kim Kardashian) – I do think some separation from all of the responsibilities that come with the title “mom” and getting in some quality “me time,” is not only healthy but it will allow you to be a better parent in the long run.

But while it’s nice to have alone time, that isn’t necessarily the same as me time.


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The News-Review Updated May 28, 2014 08:38AM Published May 28, 2014 08:42AM Copyright 2014 The News-Review. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.