A story we rarely hear from the heart of a birthmother. I needed to hear it.
Our beautiful Allison was placed in our family after another birthmother was unable to parent her through life – a scared soul who had been told grim stories of her daughter's condition.
Like most parents of children born with Emanuel Syndrome and other birth defects, the medical community deems their condition ‘incompatible with life.’
No doubt there were warnings about this rare condition and all the things they were sure she would never do.
The medical news was grim at first and the developmental disabilities seem daunting.
I know some people who could never see themselves taking in a child who may never say “I love you.”
We've always felt so blessed that of all the decisions that could have been made for my daughter, life was the choice that was made for her.
We don't talk enough about the birth parents.
We talk about the adoptive parents and the adoptee.
Their stories are beautiful to be sure.
The birth parent has to step into a new life knowing a piece of them is out there somewhere.
Even in the world of open adoptions, there are still a million hours spent away from this person that occupied their body right next to their heart for nine months.
Our birthmother opted for no contact with our family. She even rejected the notice of Oregon's adoption law to notify her of the registry that can be accessed when Allison turns eighteen.
We will most likely register because I think it's respectful. I can never imagine the ache the birthparents carry.
I'm so thankful Jenn spoke up. For those of us who have never heard the words of our child's birthparents, it's a peaceful balm.
The confidence she put in another human being to take on such an honored position humbles me and renews my gratitude to a woman I will never meet but will always love.
We don\'t talk enough about the birth parents.