Dear Audrey Ann,
Today you are 3 years old. I can’t believe it. Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday that you were the size of your baby sister, and I was rocking you to sleep, laughing at your facial expressions and anxiously awaiting the day you would talk, walk and say, “Mom.”
Now you walk, talk and say, “Mom,” and I just want to push pause. Pause today.
You came and jumped into my bed this morning, got under the covers and just snuggled me. You whispered, “Shh…baby is sleeping.” And then we whispered and giggled back and forth like girlfriends telling secrets.
I wipe glitter off your forehead. I watch you dance around in your Snow White dress, dusting the house with glitter – a trail of “Princess Audrey.” And part of me doesn’t want to clean it up because before too long it will be gone.
I want to pause today because before too long it won’t be your Snow White dress or your Cinderella dress, it will be a prom dress or wedding dress.
I want to pause today because before too long you won’t say “Mom, I need you” 20 times after we tuck you into bed at night or need me to kiss your boo-boos.
I want to pause today because you’re sitting by your baby sister, touching her hand and saying, “I love you.”
I just want to pause today because I’m feeling so blessed. When I think of the future, you getting older and bigger, you not needing your mom so much – I just want to push pause.
When I think of the last times: last time you’ll jump in my bed wanting to snuggle; last time you’ll want me to read "Curious George;" the last time you’ll let me braid your hair like Rapunzel — Lord, let me just push pause.
So I’ll savor each day, each opportunity, basking in the glitter of the moment because before too long you won’t be 3 anymore.
And while the future makes me somewhat uneasy, I know that as much as I love you, God loves you even more. I know as much as I want to push pause, God has His plan, and His plan is Great.
I can’t wait for our adventures to come. Happy Birthday, my sweet princess.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11