I’ve always said that Halloween is a time to get creative. You have 364 other days of the year to dress like a skank, if that’s what you choose to do, so please leave that for some other day and have a little originality when it comes to Halloween costumes.
I’ve always been one to buck the sexy/naughty trend myself, and instead have tended to go for something that I wouldn’t be ashamed for my father to see me in.
The “sexiest” I’ve ever gone was my sophomore year of college when I went as the Statue of Liberty—she’s in a toga, y’all! Some of my other, more cleaver gems were NASCAR fan (easy and realistic, since I had just been to the races the previous weekend), bag lady (a classic and conveniently, everything I needed was already in my closet) and Maxine, the old lady from the comics (not to be confused with a bag lady; Maxine requires white hair spray paint).
Not to sound like I grew up in Mayberry, I didn’t, but when did Halloween costumes go from being cute and or clever to “sexy” or “naughty?”
My own mom subscribed to my cute-over-sexy formula for Halloween costumes and would dress my sisters and me up in pumpkin costumes, as witches, zombies (a la three rolls of toilet paper) and sacks of trash.
I think that last one had some kind of subliminal messaging attached to it, but I’m not in therapy, so I’m not gonna open that can of worms and examine it too closely.
Generally, I think our childhood costumes were always some combination of what was lying around the house and what we could throw together a few hours before hitting the streets on our candy-collecting mission.
The best one was haunted prom chic, when my sister managed to scrounge up a Homecoming dress that hadn’t been snapped up by our younger cousins, and streak her face and dress with fake blood. Who says you’ll never use those bridesmaid/formal dresses ever again?
So it is with this frugal and cute mindset that I decided to look for my girls Halloween costumes; however, after only breathing the word “costume” in my mom’s general direction, she demanded she be allowed to get the girls theirs (clearly, my rabbit and cow from last year lacked appropriate inspiration in my mother’s oft bedazzled eyes).
I guess something changes chemically in a woman’s mind when she becomes a grandmother and the Hefty bag with leg holes and random pieces of cardboard spewing out the top that sufficed for her daughter’s costume simply won’t cut it for the grandbabies. Mom wanted designer costumes for the girls while I was content to wrap them in toilet paper (barring of course, Eddaline wanting to eat it off herself before we could get out of the house).
I quickly explained that no, I already had something in mind for Big Girl (who wants to give everyone a check-up and is in a huge “doctor” phase) and as much as we love all things Disney around here, I didn’t want my girls dressed up as matching glam Princesses.
While my mom didn’t get why I would subject my children to anything other than Disney Princesses, she quickly struck a compromise: “Fine. If I buy Ansley a stupid doctor costume, can I pick out Eddaline’s and get it for her?”
“Sure, Mom. That’d be great.”
Tomorrow, the Carollo girls will be dressed as a doctor… and a fairy-mermaid-princess, complete with wand, tiara and sequined tail. I can’t say I didn’t know better.
...when did Halloween costumes go from being cute and or clever to “sexy” or “naughty?”