Let me be really honest today. There are days I feel like I fail at being a person. On those days, I don’t think I’ve done a good job at being a wife, mother, friend, daughter, teacher and so on.
Maybe it starts with “getting up on the wrong side of the bed,” literally after not sleeping well, or figuratively when worry or stress has caused me to dread the next morning.
Or, when that worry and stress has been going on for a while and gotten combined with what feels like outright attacks against me and that straw finally breaks the camels back.
And boy, what a tidal wave of yuck is unleashed from me!
All my words and actions reflect my frustrations and I start lashing out. The negativity extends to those I love most, because you know, “When Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”
Oh, then the blame and self-pity set in: those miserable moments after an explosion where every part is reviewed and regretted.
I can’t take back what’s done. I can only apologize and hope that love covers over the mistakes I’ve made. I’m just trying to be honest here. I’m sure I’m the only one who has ever been through this.
Truthfully, I’ve had a day like this recently. I started the day in frustration and when things started happening, it felt like I needed a shield to protect myself from the next onslaught.
It felt like everything was against me. The more the day progressed, the worse it got, until I exploded in waves of pitifulness. Aren’t I sounding melodramatic? I intend to – it’s kind of ridiculous.
At the end of that very long day, I had a chance to sit and think through the day. I realized that I had gone into it expecting it to get bad. It’s so easy to do that.
The truth is, though, that we will see all the negative stuff if we expect to see it. If we go into a situation ready to be put off by something, we will be put off.
We may blame others, but a lot of the time, the blame is truly our own. So today, I choose to change my outlook because it is my choice. I will live the true definition of love:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
I will live the true definition of love even when a situation is not going the direction of my well-laid plans — because it is my choice.
Then, my little corner of the world will be a happier place ‘cause Mama’s happy again.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Cor. 13:4