Jill Fay: Prepare for the difficult transition ahead, mom | Moms

Let me start off by stating that potty training was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. Getting both my kids to sleep in their beds is in close running with that. Oh, and dealing with food allergies with my daughter as a baby is right up there also.

Those days were not easy, but I miss them. I miss the days when they were that little and were more dependent on me. When all they wanted to do is play with me and snuggle with me (and their father, but this is about me right now).

I miss the times they would ask me for help or cry for me to comfort by rocking. I even miss the yells from the bathroom “mom, come wipe my butt."

I miss the times when “time out” worked well as a punishment. I miss the times my children were not so independent and I remember wishing they were.

My children are now 11 and six, and all the baby/toddler stuff is a thing of the past. My kids still give me snuggles, but on their terms and only when I can get them to slow down long enough to enjoy it.

My daughter also still likes to play with me, but each year she becomes more and more independent. Faster than my son did. She is six years old going on 13. She wants to do everything on her own lately. Even fixing her own hair and making her own lunch for school.

My son is preparing for junior high. He is extremely excited. I am not. I feel like it's a whole new ball game in parenting. One that I don't feel fully prepared for.

Just the changes my son will go through at this age alone is going to be challenging enough. He is a very handsome, smart, sweet, and social boy who has a way with words and expressing himself. This kid could sell you anything…enough said.

My children still obviously need me. The needs are just different. And they may not want to need me at times. But they will always need me more as they grow and go out in the world so independently and face all the pressures and situations life will throw them. They will inevitably be experiencing life away from me.

I can't be there to make decisions for them and I cant be there at every moment to hold them when they hurt.

I feel like it's my duty as a mama to hold them when I can and keep the lines of communication open; to ask appropriate questions and listen when they share; to pray with them and for them every day.

This is a hard transition for this mom. I have come to a place where I have had to let go of part of my control over my babies.

Now that they are not babies, I have to accept their individual lives are their own and I am to be a guide. They will be making more choices on their own when they are away from me at school, friends and activities.

I am committed to staying involved. My kids enjoy seeing me at school occasionally and supporting them at their extra curricular activities, but I believe that home is where they get the good stuff!

Hold your babies and rock them any chance you get, no matter what age they are. I encourage you, if you don't already, to start praying for God to prepare your hearts and minds for your next transition in mama-hood, as well as your child's next transition in childhood.

Editor's Note: This is a great perspective complimenting Destiny's blog last week, "This too shall pass."

I have come to a place where I have had to let go


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The News-Review Updated Jan 27, 2014 09:53AM Published Jan 22, 2014 07:22AM Copyright 2014 The News-Review. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.