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April 17, 2013
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Brittany Arnold: Being a Godly wife

My husband and I always joke about how there is always something wrong with a woman. Period cramps, menopause, hurting back, migraines, bunions, colds, etc… I have to agree with him that yes, women seem to love the doctor's office and seem to fall apart more easily. My explanation is that God made man first, thus women kind of got the scrap pieces of being put together.

But in all reality, God wired women with the most graceful strength there is – and it is up to us whether we use it.

The worldly vision of a strong wife is one who gets her way, who doesn’t take any “crap” and has no problem speaking her mind – most often, disrespectfully to her husband. “Yeah, woman power!” so they say.

But what I’ve noticed is that it takes a much stronger woman to hold her tongue, to respect her husband and to live in not only the “better” but in the “worse” without grumbling.

To the woman taking her vows seriously, it isn’t about what others see, what society thinks is acceptable behavior, what “friends” are cheering you on to do or even what our humanly nature is telling us to do – it is about not pointing the finger at your husband, and instead, pointing it up to God. Real, AGAPE love.

So many times, I have had to stop and start praying in the middle of a discussion that is turning into a fiery argument. You know, one of those discussions that the whole box of junk starts to spill out – where you started talking about one thing and then you are on a separate topic every few minutes.

Stopping and praying, I remind myself, “For YOU GOD, I will hold my tongue; I will love; I will respect; I will tear down my defense wall and attacking army and trust You. My husband is driving me crazy, but I know You have brought us together and that we are One – thus I will treat him how I want to be treated. Give me strength and give me patience.”

That strength to stop in the middle of a heated discussion, where I have a lot of points that have not been yet heard – that is real, Godly strength. That is the strength that God gave women.

And I’ve seen that when you take that finger that is pointing, blaming and spilling out a ton of, “Well, you don’t do this or you do this or IF YOU JUST DID THIS…” and you take that finger, point up to God – remember, He is watching. He will take care of you. He will bless you and bless your marriage if you trust Him, listen to Him and give Him the control you are holding onto.

Backing down doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong.

Even growing up, my parents would tell me in some friend-on-friend warfare to “be the bigger person.” It always meant to be more mature, to be the example and to do the opposite of what someone expects you to do. When that happens, the whole situation starts unfolding in a different way and things begin to change. Relationships can change.

I’ve seen my marriage evolving and growing. Our heated discussions are less and less, but when they do happen (every marriage has them), even though I never asked my husband to try responding differently – he has started. My changed attitude has affected his.

I don’t want to be a good wife, I want to be Godly wife. I want to be his best friend, who he turns to for comfort, his cheerleader and his teammate. And most of all, I want to honor God and be thankful for what I have.

I have to remember that nothing I do goes unnoticed. God sees everything – the good and the bad, and God will never give us more than we can handle.

Like the Proverbs 31 woman, being thankful in every situation, loving our husbands, family, friends with “agape” love – it is easier said than done. In fact, it is impossible. We can’t do it – but God can.

Stop, pray and let Him lead because what is impossible for us, is not impossible for Him.

As women we are created to have a positive and profound impact on everyone around us whether it be our husbands, children, friends, parents or society. Being a woman is a blessing, and being a wise, strong and dignified woman blesses others in ways that can’t be calculated.

Brittany Arnold is married with one child and another on the way. Read her Wednesdays on Douglas County Moms. Also check out her personal blog here.

But what I’ve noticed is that it takes a much stronger woman to hold her tongue, to respect her husband and to live in not only the “better” but in the “worse” without grumbling.

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The News-Review Updated Nov 18, 2013 07:28PM Published May 1, 2013 09:51AM Copyright 2013 The News-Review. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.