Jenn Silvas | moms@nrtoday.com

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July 29, 2014
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A different perspective: I put my child up for adoption | Moms

There are so many warm and fuzzy adoption stories that I’ve heard floating around about parents that have finalized their adoption of a new baby.

Some of these are first time parents, some have biological children of their own, and some have either been foster parents or have just been on an adoption list for quite some time.

The stories of their long awaited adoption are endless, talked about often and are filled with pure joy and happiness.

What isn’t talked about often is the story of the woman who carried a baby for nine long months and then made the incredibly difficult decision to hand her precious child over to another woman’s waiting arms.

These stories are the ones that leave people not knowing what to say or even sometimes saying the wrong thing.

Sometimes someone will refer to the situation as a mother who “gave her baby up.” I feel like that term is the furthest from what is real and true.

I believe that this second perspective of adoption should be shared, but in a completely different light.

The story would begin something like this…

She carried this gift from God in her stomach. She felt the baby move, kick, and hiccup daily.

When the day came for the baby to be born, she knew that she would never forget that moment as long as she lived – the memory of her precious baby and how much her heart swelled with love and pain at the same time.

She was making a choice to give this child a chance at life with a different family because she knew she couldn’t do it herself.

And every single day after and forever she will spend thinking of her child.

I believe that a mother does give up a lot when she chooses adoption, but it isn’t a baby that she gives up.

Instead she is giving her baby a chance to have every dream and opportunity possible for them.

I am that mother. I was 16 years old and I had a brand new baby.

The moment he was born and I held him in my arms and against my own heart I knew that I had created a miracle and that I loved him with every single part of myself.

At the same time I knew that I could not care for him, I couldn’t even take care of myself and I was alone.

I wanted more for him, I wanted him to have everything that he deserved and the family that I knew God meant for him to have.

I decided to make a choice – one that I will never forget and that I think about daily.

I chose life for my son by giving him a life with a mother and a family that would love and cherish him every single moment of every day.

I gave my son to a mom who could not carry a child herself, and I knew that she would never take his existence for granted.

It was the hardest decision I have ever made, and I wavered on it several times.

I believe that God gave me the courage and the strength I needed to go through with signing the papers for the adoption.

He gave me the power to give my son the life he was supposed to have!

As time has passed over the last 12 years, I have had many ups and downs in my feelings of the decision I made.

Most of the time I am happy and at peace with my choice. He has grown to be a very smart and amazing boy and his world is filled with nothing but love.

But there are also times that I struggle greatly and I wonder what could have been if I would have kept my son and raised him as my own.

And when I was pregnant with the second boy I would give birth to, my now 2-year-old, I struggled the most.

I felt like I didn't deserve the chance to have another baby boy because I couldn't care for the first one.

Thankfully I feel like I was able to overcome those struggles with the help of Jesus Christ in my life and my heart.

But there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of that little baby boy, the one I carried and the one that I gave birth to, and ultimately the one that I loved and still love and always will!

So the next time you hear about an incredible adoption story, stop for a moment and say a prayer for the mother who carried the baby in her womb and chose life for them – a decision made with only unselfish and unconditional love.

She was making a choice to give this child a chance at life with a different family


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The News-Review Updated Aug 11, 2014 08:47AM Published Aug 5, 2014 07:05PM Copyright 2014 The News-Review. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.