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April 24, 2014
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Letter: Curricula for Douglas County schools?

Creationism vs. evolution

According to candidate Dallas Heard, creationism should be taught in public schools, and evolution should be restricted to elective classes to avoid sullying the teaching of “real” science.

I heartily agree with Mr. Heard. We all should question evolution. In fact, I suggest we re-try Tennessee vs. John Thomas Scopes right here in Roseburg. It would be wonderful publicity for our state, and it would generate more than a few dollars in tourism and entertainment taxes. The pointy-headed intellectuals who believe in molecular biology, astrophysics, Einstein’s theories of gravity and light speed, plate tectonics, and other half-baked scientific theories consistent with evolution would flock here to see such a spectacle. While they laugh at us, we could fleece them for all their worth.

The money could be used to further strengthen our schools’ curricula. We could round out our children’s science educations by teaching other well-supported God-based theories of creation.

For example, the Tlinget believed that man and animals crawled out of a big clam shell on the day of creation. The Ainu of Japan believed that on the first day God sent a big bird down to splash water away from the underlying mud. He packed down the mud by stomping his feet and beating it with his tail. Like the Biblical creation story, both are perfectly plausible theories.

Yes, the scholarly Mr. Heard is absolutely correct. Americans should make their own decisions about what their kids learn in school. Why leave something so important to the experts? I, for one, would welcome astrology and alchemy classes.

Foretelling the future and turning lead into gold would be very marketable skills. Had we only known back in 2008 that Obama was a Leo, what a different world this would be. Phrenology, anyone?

Scott Mendelson


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The News-Review Updated May 27, 2014 10:36AM Published Apr 24, 2014 12:36PM Copyright 2014 The News-Review. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.