You meet her almost every day, sometimes at the school as she drops off her child or maybe even at the park or grocery store. You say, “Hi,” and ask her how she is doing – she smiles and says, “ I am doing good.”
But you don’t see the bruises, how she is not doing good. She has just spent the morning beating herself up mentally and emotionally.
The day didn’t start so great. She overslept, homework couldn’t be found, a child had a meltdown, unkind words were spoken, car keys were lost.
All this makes for a rough morning and it is only 8 a.m.
And so it starts the, “If only(s)…”
If only I were more organized; if only I was not so busy; if only I worked harder; if only I wasn’t so forgetful; if only I was patient. The beating starts, it makes us feel useless and inadequate. We focus on all the negatives and the failure.
Very soon we are pretty battered and bruised by our thoughts and feelings.
It can lead to us being paralyzed – we can’t function because we are limping around from the lies we are allowing ourselves to believe.
We don’t want anyone to know, so we cover it up and we say we are good because we are afraid that others may think the same of us.
I have had a few of these mornings. I have beat myself up. It does nothing good, but leaves me feeling tired, defeated and miserable.
Our days are unpredictable and some days for whatever reason, the laundry doesn’t get taken out of the washing machine and sometimes mac and cheese is what is for dinner.
Does this make us terrible or unworthy? No, but for some reason we let ourselves think and believe.
I do believe we are to be the best that we can be, but I also feel we need to give ourselves some grace on those days when our toddler eats the Purina Cat Chow or we get a call from the school that our child is in trouble.
Those are not the things that define us as a woman, mother or wife. We learn from these and we grow, we realize that it wasn’t such a great day – we can’t wallow in our defeat.
I speak this out of experience. I am learning this on my journey, I am not there yet either, but I am learning to recognize the lies I allow myself to believe.
When we recognize those lies and replace them with truth, then we can walk in victory and not defeat.
One of the ways I replace those lies with truth is through scripture verses.
My favorite one right now is:
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought to make it obedient in Christ.” 2 Corinthians 5:10
You are a beautiful mom. It is time to stop the beatings, it is time to replace those lies, see the truth and to be the best mom you can be.
Let’s walk in victory mamas, not defeat.
...we take every thought to make it obedient in Christ.” 2 Corinthians 5:10