My husband and I are very different from each other, and apart from our daily values, we’re pretty much like cookies and ketchup (perhaps that was a bad comparison, but you get the idea).
I love romantic comedies, while John prefers action movies. He will literally eat anything (I’ve seen him eat a termite and we weren’t even in a life or death situation), and I tend to err on the side of comfort food. John’s hobbies come with snowshoes, kayaks and mountain bikes. My hobbies? Give me a credit card and a mall and I’m happy for days.
You’d think that with our differences, we’d have a hard time coming to a consensus on anything, but we have a system. Decisions that pertain to gun makes and models, car parts, weed eaters, and any other things that can belong in or around a man cave, John has free reign over. The same goes for me – wedding plans, home décor, the nursery, thank-you cards, gifts – he gladly lets me take over.
That being said, when we found out we were pregnant, there were two very big debates in our household.
1. Choosing a name -- Now, the name debate has been tabled for the time being because obviously we decided on Liam. But John is insisting that he gets to name our next son Maverick (which would be great if our next son is a Golden Retriever). I, too, am still holding on to my favorite name, Oliver, which isn’t nearly tough enough of a name, according to John.
2. How many kids and how far apart – We have such a hard time with this question because in terms of our own childhoods with siblings, we couldn’t have been more opposite. John and his brother are a year and a half apart in age, while my two half-brothers are eight and nine years older than I am (which is a similar situation to Liam and Cameron, my 10-year-old stepson).
John insists that having a sibling close in age is ideal because he always had a partner in crime and live-in best friend growing up. I, on the other hand, enjoyed the one-on-one time with my parents and never felt like I was in competition with my brothers.
I’m not saying I want to have my children eight years apart, but I’m in no rush to have another one anytime soon. I guess I’m scared that I’d miss out on doing a lot of fun things with Liam over the next few years. My attention would forever be divided. And I know that eventually it will have to be divided if we want another child, but I’m OK with putting it off for awhile.
And maybe I’ll change my mind next month and decide I want four kids – which means we need to get crackin’. Or maybe I’ll decide my heart is full enough with Cameron and Liam. The more I search for the right answer, the more I realize that there isn’t one. We’ll do what feels right when we’re ready. It’s silly to try and map out a plan now because as we all know, plans change and curveballs are thrown. And at the end of the day, every family is different and beautiful in its own right.
Maybe I’ll change my mind next month and decide I want four kids – which means we need to get crackin’.