Kate Windsor mug

Kate Windsor mug

Kate Windsor

Technology. We love it and hate it at the same time, especially when we are right in the middle of a download that takes forever or even lose internet connection altogether.

What is our response to fixing these problems? We hit the reset button. Typically doing so allows the object to get back on track and to work better.

Much like hitting the reset button on our wondrous pieces of technology, we can hit the reset button in our lives. For many years, I have practiced pressing the reset button and watched while my family as well as friends lives thrive from doing the same.

Just like technology, we become burnt out with our daily routines and lose focus on the most important things due to the daily mundane. I get it, I understand, there’s just not enough hours in a day to tackle everything. Yet when this starts to happen we begin to lose sight of the most important things.

One area to address is our relationships. Why should we hit a reset button in our relationships? In order to make a relationship function and work properly, we need fine tuning here and there.

Imagine buying a beautiful plant, taking it home and placing it on a shelf. You first begin watering it often, giving it lots of sunlight, admire it’s beauty and generally make sure it’s getting everything it needs on a daily basis. Then, you start to go back to school, doctor appointments, family issues, and other issues begin to occur and you stop feeding your flower. You notice it, it still looks like it’s doing ok, so you are not too concerned.

Then one day you walk past your precious little flower and it’s withering away. Now, you realize that there is something that needs to be done to help it survive. That’s the same way we get with our relationships. We can see that things are ok, they aren’t really at a breaking point yet and so we just keep plugging along until the day our spouse says they just can’t anymore, or our children become distant, our co-workers stop talking to us.

When we start to see that our flower (relationships) starting to wither away, this is the time in which we press that big, bright red reset button. How do we do this?

There are many different ways in which someone can tackle the reset button technique. First and foremost, communication is vital. Communication, both verbal and non-verbal, is the livelihood in which we all learn to coincide with one another.

Learn to listen without interruption, communicate disagreements with love and kindness, and share each other’s thoughts and ideas with an open heart and an open mind. Yes, easier said than done. However, all of this is a choice. When we choose to try, we’ve made the first step forward in the right direction.

My family and I hit the reset button at least twice a year, especially soon after school starts and the hustle and bustle of life begins to control of our day to day lives. There soon becomes this lack of interest in one another.

One technique that my family and I use is picking one night — after school, after dinner or just on a Saturday when there’s nothing going on. We all sit down together and it usually starts by recognizing that we need to have a family reset. Then we dive straight into things we are seeing. Not just us as parents, even the kids have their time to let us know what they are feeling, noticing or make suggestions.

One of our greatest goals is to remember to keep open communication with our children, so that they can speak to us about things they are seeing as well. We dedicate this time to listen to each other. Hearing their concerns or praises. I’ve heard things like “I really like it when you turn around and look at me when I’m speaking” or “you know, I really get irritated when you cut me off in the middle of my sentence. Please just hear me out all the way through.” As a parent who wants to see my children thrive and succeed, I want to build that trust and relationship, so I need feedback like this.

As I’ve mentioned earlier this can be done in any form of relationship. In my experiences, a frequent reset is just the ticket to thriving and succeeding as a family, in a marriage and with my co-workers. Never be afraid to discuss anything and everything with an open heart and a clear mind.

Kate Windsor is a Sutherlin resident and mother of six kids ranging in age from 11 to 18. Kate recently graduated from Eastern Oregon University with a Bachelors of Arts.

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