Two decades ago, during one of our daily half-hour lunch breaks out on the loading dock, the subject of celebrated beauties came up. When I nominated the actress Catherine Zeta-Jones for the title of “World’s Most Beautiful Woman,” Larry agreed heartily. “She’s the only reason I picked that cell phone company over the others,” he added.

Robert Leo Heilman is an award-winning author and essayist who lives in Myrtle Creek. He can be contacted by email:

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(3) comments


Thankfully I have a very large "MUTE" button on my remote, but a lot still manages to subconsciously find its way through to my visual, auditory AND olfactory senses! If it smells like a fish, it probably is one. And as Mr. Heilman says, common sense has got to take precedence.

Ms. Pellegrino-Reid

I still love the Staples Commercial showing the average guy shopping for school supplies while "it's the most wonderful time of the year is being sung by Andy Williams". I did however buy my daughter's school stuff at KMART, a better bargain when it was still in business.


Advertising is the number one reason I snark out loud at my TV. To me advertisers employ their seemingly legal persuasion by way of subjective wording, nonsense animation, and celebrity endorsement. Worst are ads for medications as if we're all supposed to run quickly to our doctor and ask for a drug that has so many listed side effects one forgets in a matter of half a minute what the drug is supposed to treat.

Having said that, I love that Ralph is jazzed about the peanut butter box, and how the baby whines when there's nothing to eat, nothing, eh-ehh. But if I had a dog or a baby, I still wouldn't buy just because the ad was funny or cute.

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